Maybe it's just the cooler weather, the desire to have another baby but not being sure about anything, being in a job I'm not sure is going anywhere.... I don't know what it is, but I'm in a funk.
We haven't done anything this summer, or gone anywhere. Well, I guess we did get a fence built, but I mean more along the lines of getting away. It's been too long since we've been camping. Even if we only went once a year, it was the time I looked forward to the most. This year I've been on the fence about it because A is only a year and a half, and I think bringing her would be hectic. There's no way she'd stay in a canoe, she doesn't really swim too much... I'm not really sure what we'd do with her if we brought her. Also... I feel like she'd be hard to get to sleep and we'd just be exhausted from having her up all night.
So... On September 13th, I'm heading out for one night with a few girlfriends, and we're going to camp. Wine will be involved, and I think it will be a nice little getaway.
That's good. I should be happy, and I am.
But I would really like to go camping with my husband like we used to. He wants to go somewhere, and we're both fine with leaving A. with grandma for a couple of nights, but whenever I mention camping, he keeps trying to suggest a cottage or a yurt or something. If we had more money I'd do a B&B or something, but realistically, I don't really want to pay upwards of a $120/night to camp out in a yurt, which is basically just a glorified tent, and a cottage or cabin is about $160/night. I guess it's not really that expensive, but compared to camping in a tent which starts at about $25/night... well, I guess you can see what I'm saying. I don't think communing with nature needs to be expensive. We have all the gear we need.
We'll go camping, and we'll go in a tent, and hubs will put on his game face about it, but I have to wonder why all of a sudden camping isn't good enough. He used to love it. He's the one who got me in to it many years ago. I know people change and all, but this is something that we used to love doing together, and it's sad that I have to twist his arm to get him to go.
I guess I can see where he's coming from. He wants a 'real' vacation. I want a real vacation too, but I'm stuck in this mindset of being frugal since I don't know if I'll even have a job in November.
I'm tired. Tired of getting stuck in a contract situation. Tired of getting a job that isn't permanent. Tired of being in an industry that seems to really be getting me nowhere. I feel like I'd like to take some courses or something, try something else, but at the same idea, I have no idea what I would do with myself.
I need to get out of this funk. I'm not unhappy. I have a great family, a beautiful place to live, I really have plenty and couldn't ask for much more (except a real job). Hubs is even on board for a second baby, and I want one like... yesterday... but I just don't know what lies ahead.
This post is kind of all over the place... but I guess that's how I feel lately. So I'll end it now. Ugh.
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